Where I'm Gonna Die

by The Goodness Sakes

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about

Thanks to all our families, friends, and ladies for being so supportive.
Special thanks to Aaron English, Joey Chance, and Matthew Hagerman for helping to keep this thing off the ground.

You’re more than your circumstances.
www.thegoodnesssakes.com

credits

released June 30, 2015

Austin Norman - Vocals, Guitar, Drums
Chad Jaso - Bass
Drew Griffith - Guitar

Recorded in April 2015 at Fathom Tree Studios in Austin, TX (www.thefathomtree.com)
Recording and production by Matthew Hagerman
Mastering by Keith Gary (www.keithgaryproductions.com)
Art and design by Ryan Lewis (www.ryanlewisdesign.com)

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about

The Goodness Sakes Austin, Texas

The Goodness Sakes (Austin, TX) is an indie rock band with dashes of punk and country. Lead by Austin Norman, he writes of overcoming addictions and learning to be the person he’s supposed to be. When the chance to make music arrives, the band strives to deliver a performance that is built on transparent integrity. Influences include The Mountain Goats, The Front Bottoms, and The Hold Steady. ... more

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Track Name: Black Cloud
I’m losing my edge
Everything starts to make too much sense
I’ve got my eyes on the apex
Forget all the checkpoints I’m not supposed to forget

I’m losing the flavor
The ironic taste of blood in my mouth
I wanna call for the head of my leaders
I miss being what everyone’s worried about

And I’m not sure I shouldn’t want
Whatever’s happening to me
Like a hit full of menthol, I think I might need it to breathe

All the boys will be boys
I’m old enough now that I guess I accept it
Don’t forget where you’ve come from, boy
Don’t forget when you learned that everything is connected

I’m losing my footing
Potential energy falling to more comfortable states
A squandered projection
Sometimes I wonder if I even deserve to change

Put your damn foot down, make your mom proud
And act like you’ve got something to lose
If I get to heaven, I’d rather show up black and blue

So scatter my ashes across as many states
as you can afford to drive
I want to be some devilish mist on the horizon,
I want to be a black cloud haunting the sky
Let all the ghosts crawl down my throat
Let me dissolve into a thick smoke
As I burn alive
Track Name: Cops and Robbers
I played prodigal for the story,
I came home and was proud of it.
I played cops and robbers
And made sure that my side would always win.
Not for nothing, but my cards
Were always face up on the draw.
Oh god I wish you could have seen it
When I sang that awful song:
“So if I die, let me die
With a shotgun by my side
So everybody knows how hard I fought to live,
And let them write my name backwards
On a banner over the square.
I want every last one to look at it.”

Then I would call myself out bleeding,
“look at the devil that I’ve slain.”
Nobody left to paint my picture,
So I guess I’ve lost my game.
And I would make sure you could see me,
I would shiver while I prayed.
A little hair of the dog while I’m waiting for God
Just to dig the tomb I crave.
So if I die, let me die,
Just go ahead and take my spine,
And I will blather on about how hard this is.
Let them tear my name to pieces,
I’m not worth what it’s printed on
If the best I can do is throw a fit.

So I suppose I could have been bitter
At having lost the taste of joy.
And I could have dragged you down with me
Like a selfish little boy.
But if my story’s what’s important,
I think a better one would be
Me ending all this self indulgence,
Putting my clothes on and walking free.
So if I die, let me die
With my friends all at my side.
No more dim-lit mirrors, no an end that I can see.
We will not drink to numb the soreness,
But to toast that we’re alive,
And we will all forget what we pretend to be.
Track Name: Dakshinkali
I stared upward for hours after waking
Made out faces in the paint
Felt the stinging that’s fermenting in my right hip
Stoically wished the roof would cave
I don’t know, I guess we’ll see
I expect that this is probably gonna sting

A song in my head like a frozen forest shouting
Sounds like a belt is gonna slip
Guarded mutterings to Kali the Destroyer
But captains never leave the ship
Open up black clouds above
Someday soon I know my number’s gonna come
Track Name: Ends and Means
I had a dream I made best friends with my enemy
Laughing for the first time in years once again
Our shared lover was dead, we both cleared our heads
singing, “Brother, I forgive you for your sins.”

And I’ve already told you all how I’m sorry
I just made such a damned fool out of me
I don’t think I really loved you, but I had too much work to do
You were never the ends but the means

I could have sworn I didn’t need anything
But as it turns out, there wasn’t much that we thought about
I could’ve tried to evolve and actually value my friends
Instead of feeling so sorry and merely crawling around
I feel it starting again

Well I pray that I do better than my father
And I hope my children will be nothing like me
Because worse always comes to worse, and we get what we deserve
So I hope you all learn earlier than me

I shouted for years and now
The conversation’s over

I could have sworn I didn’t need anything
But as it turns out, there was too much that we fought about
I could’ve acted evolved and actually valued my friends
Instead of feeling so sorry and always lying around
I’ll never do it again
Track Name: Kolkata
I’m a multi-boroughed city, each with their own beating hearts
Pushing out all of the culture for hi-rise hotels and polished martini bars
And I don’t know quite how it happened, but it’s me nonetheless
Let me wake up and remember that
Somewhere in Kolkata
There’s a man who owns a shop and knows my name
And asks my mother any time that she is there if I am ever coming back
But here in texas I’m still trying to build something
Like I’m always building something, when not sleeping it off or bracing for attack

I’m an old forgotten language spoken by once-ruling kings
Or a psalm written by david that he never ever sings
Please nobody write this down, I think it’s better in the moment
You ‘ll be laughing when I say
How somewhere in Dubai
There’s an amusement park they never finished building
And the entrance only points to desert and a roller coaster you probably shouldn’t ride
Half full buildings scrape the sky, all ambition and no theory
And I ask myself if it’s ever good to let a good thing die
Track Name: Garden of Eden
I think I was 4 years old they first taught me the story of Adam and Eve
Buttoned collar, parted hair, a clip on tie, baby teeth
Now at 26 I think that the basis of most everything I believe
Is that somewhere in an eastern country, there's a house that was built for me
Where a man once sat on his lawnmower with a son upon his lap
And his good wife waving out to them from the front porch that they had
But now there's somebody who's renting it out, keeping it from me
Empty rooms, smoky answers, and my first few memories
I should probably be ashamed but I’m not at all
And you’ve been such a menace to my never ceasing jaw
No matter how much has changed, we’ll not evolve
Hung up like a picture on an old living room wall

Forgave myself so easily for not forgiving anyone
I’ve practiced subtle acquiescence since the day I was born
Gave my worst to those who love me and my best to those that don’t
I’ve run out of old confessions, But I can’t make my new ones known
I should probably be ashamed, but I’ve forgotten it
Fake a new beginning atop of where the old one sits
And no matter how much is changed, I still shake in shifts
Stop singing about your bones if your body is what’s sick

I’ve got pain like a cancer,
I’ve got pain like a cancer,
I’ve got pain like a cancer in my soul

I’ve got rage like a whiskey,
I’ve got rage like a whiskey,
I’ve got rage like a whiskey in my soul

I’ve got hate like a desert,
I’ve got hate like a desert,
I’ve got hate like a desert in my soul,
I’ve got doubts like the oceans,
i’ve got sins like the mountains,
Ain’t no peace like a river in my soul.
Track Name: Foxhole
All my transgressions
Piled behind my house
All my confessions
I tied em all down
And i set you on fire,
Threw you onto the pile
This is where i belong
This is where i’m gonna die

All my old songs
I wrote them all down
And ripped them to shreds
On the outskirts of town
So take what you want
I wrote them for me
Just to die like a soldier
In a hole two feet deep

One day you’ll see all you thought was important
Was nothing. When you find your mistake
You won’t find your footing at all I’m afraid

Hallelujah, what have i done?